Scared For the Future

No, I'm not scared for my future. I'm scared for Jorden's. I tried to have her read a simple Berenstain Bear book before bed tonight. We couldn't make it past the first page (that's nothing new). After she looks at me because she can't read simple words (like "blue") I grab the book, throw it, and tell her to just go to bed. Then I proceed to tell her that it's because she reads like that is why she will never make it to second grade. Really, it's nothing new around here.

So Jason hears this and jumps on my case. He says that for someone who is desperate to find out what's wrong, I sure do put a lot of pressure on her. Well, you know what? I have to. There is something wrong with her. And because of that, she needs to work extra hard to keep up and therefore I have to push. So this starts yet another arguement that went something like this:

"You don't have to talk to her like that to get the point across."
"She needs to understand that she has to work harder than everyone else."
"Just let her go and she'll get it."
"No. She needs to be pushed along or she'll fall even more behind. If I don't she'll only be able to get a job with her name on her shirt. Or worse yet, she can only join the military!"

Now before everyone goes jumping on me for that comment, let me explain something. There are plenty of intelligent people in the military who can have successful careers upon their exit. That comment was more a stab at Jason. When he was in school, bad grades were acceptable. He was never punished, or pushed, or told he could do much better. So the only thing out there was the military. Oh, he tried to survive outside of it but gave up because he couldn't slide by on the bare minimum. I don't want Jorden to be like that. I want her to know that if she works hard, she can have numerous possibilities for success.

I know I'm way too hard on her. But when it comes to education, it's not my job to coddle. I will push until she breaks. I'll fix her up and do it all over again. She may not realize her potential but I do.