Jason and I are fighting again. For anyone that knows us, that's really no surprise. This is why we're going at it this time:
Jason has this little "enterprise" where he gets scrap metal of all sorts and takes it to a recycling dump. He then gets cash for whatever he drops off. He used this money to help buy his pistol. Okay, I said. He's been saving his pennies so let him have it.
Today I discover that by doing the whole scrap thing, he's managed to save quite a wealthy sum. He then proceeds to tell me that he's going to buy a shotgun. I then proceed to tell him that although I'm happy that he's gotten all this cash, we have a big move coming up and it would be in the family's best interest that he save it so we're not scraping by when we get to Alaska. He then gets angry at me and says it's his money and he should be able to do whatever he wants.
His money?! Okay, he did go out on his own and earn it himself. But you know what, any money I have ever gotten was never used on myself. When I worked at Chili's, my money was used for groceries. My Avon money was used for our vacation. Even any birthday money that I get is always used for something other than my personal gain. Maybe it's because I realize that I have a family and what I want no longer matters. So how come it's okay for him to go buy a shotgun that he absolutely DOES NOT need but I can't get a $15 haircut because we're thisclose to going into overdraft?
I can think of a bunch of things that the money can be used for. It can pay off a credit card, it can buy Jorden winter clothes (she grew out of almost everything), it can buy Chase a new winter coat, it can pay to have one of our vehicles shipped to Alaska....
So who's at fault here? Am I just being jealous that he has extra cash or is he really being selfish?
The FIT Challenge
15 years ago
2 comments:
While I don't know everything, based on what I do hear here, it's not right for Jason to act as though that's his money.
Although, he may just be feeling that he's putting in all the effort so why doesn't he get to play when he wants. That being said...marriage is a JOINT EFFORT.
You may not have a paying job, but what you do is beyond priceless and allows him to go to work and also do the extra "metal scrapping" that he does.
There shouldn't be a "his and hers" funding. If that's the case, and he won't budge on that, I suggest you do the following: Take $5 each week. Put it aside...for YOU. Not for the kids, or for household or for anything else. It's for YOU. No matter if you go into over draft and you have that money there (make Jason break into HIS stash). And then, when you have enough saved up, get something specifically for YOU. A massage ($40-$50, so you'd have to save for 2 or 3 months, but still). And when he asks where you got the money or why you're spending on yourself, you can tell him that this is what you pay yourself each week...a piddly sum, but you deserve SOMETHING.
I guess I'm confused. Why wouldn't he have used all the money instead of just some from the scrap metal business to buy the pistol in the first place? Barbara, have you bought that book "For Women Only" yet? It helped me a lot to see how guys ticked....there's a "For Men Only" too.... ;-)
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